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I have no time for games in my relationships. Unless by games you`re referring to naked twister. I`ve always got time for that sh!t.
If my computer desktop were an actual place, they would bring in blindfolded people to make a Febreeze commercial.
It’s embarrassing that 90% of my Google history is just words I wasn’t sure how to spell, and yes I googled embarrassing.
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life.
I never thought I’d be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
It`s really quite simple ... I do what I want! ... The End.
I think I’m allergic to mornings.
My hobbies include trying to close the elevator door before someone else gets on.
Quick Hide! Monday is Coming!!
The only thing I ever throwback on Thursdays are drinks
The only charities I`ve donated money too recently are covered in glitter and dance to bad music.
I just burned 1200 calories.I forgot the pizza in the oven.
I walked briskly with scissors today. I’m pretty wild.
I`m out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
Is there anything more awkward than when you are singing along to a song on youtube and the music stops loading.