Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I read that a banana a day will help keep your colon clean. I just wish they would’ve mentioned that you’re supposed to eat them.....
Stop complaining about being single on Valentine`s Day. We have bigger problems in this world. Like why McDonald`s doesn`t serve breakfast after 10.30
Doctors who expect me to pee on command, I`m not some kind of stunt pee-er, you know.
I always tell my kids that it`s ok to make mistakes as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
My chiropractor just told me that I`m well adjusted. See? Not everyone thinks I`m a total weirdo...
Hey whiny kids with iPhones: when I was your age, I played with a stick.
Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed. And it was great
Save water- shower with me!
How can I trust you when you keep running away every time I untie you?
I get a lot of “You must work out!!!” I just wish it wasn’t from doctors. :(
Teacher: Have a seat! Student: Thanks! *picks up the chair and leaves* -- (°_°)
Typical: you have nothing to wear for a party and suddenly the rabbits, the birds and the mice begin to sew you a dress
Remember when you were a kid and all you would use the computer for was paint and space pinball?
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.