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Nothing says “I hate you” like giving someone’s child a drum set.
This lasagna recipe has been handed down in my family for generations in the hopes that someone would eventually make it.
Good judgement comes from bad experience and a lot of that comes from bad judgement
Does a transformer get car insurance or life insurance?
I tried being modest once, as expected I was amazing at it.
I just got a paper cut opening a box of Pop Tarts. There will be no more fancy breakfasts around here.
I thought I was losing weight, but it turned out my sweatpants had come untied.
I thought we were both kidding when we made plans for me to watch your kid.
I`m not funny, I`m just really mean and people think I`m joking.
I bet people who like their own statuses wink at themselves in the mirror too.
LIFE HACK: Answer your phone "Hello you`re on the air" and 99% of the time people will just hang up
It only takes one person to ruin it for everyone...Be that person.
Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.
I’m actually not funny. I’m just really mean and people think I’m joking.
United Airlines was just voted number one in Chinese takeout!