Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If each day is a gift, I`d like to know where I can return Monday.
She walked in & she had legs, legs that went on for days. Who knows where they went? They just kept wenting. - Why my mystery novel failed
I need an app that shows oncoming traffic on my touchscreen while I`m driving
Dogs lick each other`s butts to tell each other they like them. Just like politicians
I have been snoring a lot lately and apparently my coworkers find it distracting
Think before you yell at your kids. They are the ones who might have to bring you toilet paper in 20 minutes.
I ignored your Facebook friend request because there isn`t a "Hell no!" button.
If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck then it could be a dragon doing a duck impersonation.
All my friends are getting married and having kids or getting really good at video games.
I just saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way ... Through the driver’s door.
I hate it when people radiotype us blondes as dumb.
This century is already 15% over.
If you`re behind someone at the ATM late at night, let them know you`re not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck.
I tried counting sheep to get to sleep, but one was missing and now I’m gonna be up all night worrying.
Having a pen!s is like having a friend that always wants to play.