Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m super lazy today! Which is like normal lazy, but I`m also wearing a cape.
Happiness is using an ATM and finding a receipt left behind by someone with an account balance lower than yours.
If you’ve ever used Urban Dictionary to compose or decipher a text, congratulations, you`re over 40.
Mrs Bieber.... WHY U NO USE CONDOM?
Scientists discover that caterpillars can whistle. Am I the only one wondering if they`re concentrating their efforts on the wrong things?
My fortune cookie read "End of roll. Replace"
I`d like to thank (you know who) for the (you know what) I`ll talk to you later (you know where) and if I don`t (you know why).
A bunch of us are going out for pancakes when Facebook is over, if you want to come along.
There`s a lot of perks being a single parent, for one no witnesses.
After the expiration date on poison, is it more potent or less potent?
Don’t let anyone push you around. Unless it’s in a wagon because that might actually be fun.
I am a very very very bad influence ... In a good way.
Since my ear surgery I haven`t heard from my doctor. Not sure if that`s a good thing or not.
Guy- What`s your sign? Me- Stop
I`d say go to hell, but I don`t want to see you again.