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I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people so where my tolerance level is at.
Neighbor just yelled at me for playing in his sprinkler. Note to self, I should wear clothes next time.
To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present....They are due back at the library today.
Beer is good, but beers are better.
"Hello, 911? Hi, I was just wondering: is it stop, drop, THEN roll? Cause my friend--STOP SCREAMING, I`M ASKING THEM"
Babe, you look Hot! Is your air conditioner broken?
If Harry Potter is so magical then why can’t he fix his eye sight?
I wish "it`s the thought that counts" worked for housework.
Let`s be honest, we all have someone on Facebook we wanna bang...with a pan.
thinking men should come with a carfax....
Feeding my kid cold pizza. They will be off to college soon and preparation is the key to success.
I have a bad habit of laughing at inappropriate moments.
I just wanted to say thank you to all the people that have given me a reason to drink this Friday night.
Some people should calm down, take a deep breath and then hold it for 20 minutes.
I have never preheated an oven but I have pre-eaten a frozen pizza.