Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
You left a note on the fridge saying "This isn`t working. Goodbye" but I opened it and it was working perfectly well. I don`t get it.
A reality show where a couple wins $10 million dollars if they show nobody a picture of their baby for the first 2 years.
I take comfort in the fact that my neighbour will probably die before me. I`ll be at his funeral, leafblowing through the entire ceremony.
Have you ever stopped to think, and forgot to start again?
Freak people out in public restrooms by saying “come in” when they knock on the stall door.
*Spoiler Alert*--- Siamese cats are just one cat ... not two cats in one.
What do you get when you cross a pitbull with a computer? I don`t really know but when it megabytes, it megahertz
As it turns out, I’m not an afternoon person either.
No magician can do a trick that impresses me as much as that ‘take off my bra and make it appear out of my sleeve’ thing that girls do.
I hope I die doing something extreme like climbing Mt. Everest or telling a woman I don`t like her new haircut.
I tried counting sheep to get to sleep, but one was missing and now I’m gonna be up all night worrying.
No matter how fast you run, the serial killer always walks faster.
Now tell me how old your baby is in hours.
Getting a text from someone when I`m trying to Facebook is the emotional equivalent to walking into a spider web.