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I read "Do not believe everything you read." Now I`m not sure whether to believe this or not.
Does anyone have the owner’s manual for a wife? Mine’s emitting a terrible whining noise.
I pay $200 a month for car insurance, I`ll run all the red lights I want
Note to self... next time my wife asks what`s on tv, don`t say dust
Thought of the day! Calling me a crazy bitch will only encourage me to prove you right...
Spiderman`s Spidey sense is just really spot on anxiety.
why would i ever pay to go to a nascar event when i could get drunk beside the interstate and cheer for cars for free
Can you find the the mistake? 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10. Click Funny if you did..
Ghetto wet floor sign: Caution Bitches Be Trippin
"They are more afraid of you than you are of them." -people who know even less about me than they do about bears
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Now that I think about it... Facebook became popular ever since I made an account.
I just saw a 3D printer at the UPS store. It`s kind of cool, but I won`t be impressed until it can print snacks...
My most heavily used kitchen appliance is a fire extinguisher.
I just realized we cook bacon and bake cookies, get it together English.