Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’ve made some mistakes I wish I could make again.
It`s true alcohol kills people, but how many are born because of it?
I read an actual newspaper today! For those of you who don`t understand, a newspaper is like the Internet but made of paper.
We can`t cure cancer, diabetes or PMS, but we have 10 different pills to make a mans happy place bigger.
When life is stressful, do something to lift your spirits. Go for a drive. Go two or three thousand miles away. Maybe change your name.
Pandora has spoiled me. Five seconds into any conversation and I`m looking for the thumbs-down button.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing & they live for 150 years. Lesson learned
I had the greatest bowel movement at 2am......unfortunately I woke up at 8am (<>..<>)
I`m doing the KFC Bucket Challenge!
I know alcohol isn`t the answer, but it`s my best guess.
Why do they have “limited edition” scented candles? Are there crazy people collecting these things?
I think instead of doing laundry I`m just going to buy a second hamper...
Wtf neighbor I waved to you last week
I am not retreating! I am advancing in a different direction!
It’s not the holiday season unless you push your body to the brink of alcoholism and diabetes.