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I like the part of the day where we eat the food.
I can totally relate to cranky elderly people. I mean you can only be nice for so long!
The most amazing thing about the internet is how it allows you, with the click of a few buttons, to do absolutely nothing with your life.
You know you`re old when you think "pokemon" is a gay rastafarian
Marriage: It`s sort of like a museum. You have to be quiet and you can`t really touch anything.
It`s finally here! .. That time of year when my seasonal depression turns into just regular depression.
If anyone has ever told you that you snore, just know that person has very carefully weighed the pros and cons of letting you live.
If video games have taught me anything, it`s that you`ll automatically get promoted if you kill your boss.
Dating these days must be so hard, because how do you know somebody loves you if they donβt make you a mix tape?
Spent morning at the farmers market carefully selecting fruits and vegetables to throw away next Saturday.
it`s friday o clock
Buying an airline ticket is like paying shipping and handling for yourself.
Due to the economic crisis and ever increasing price of food, the 5 second drop rule has now been increased to 10.
This post was going to be really funny but I didn`t write it down because I was totally sure I`d remember it.
Scariest Moment: Flushing the toilet at someone elseβs house, and seeing the water riseβ¦