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Why do baby clothes have pockets?
Dang I didn`t make it to the gym today! That makes 5 years in a row
The best thing about telepathy is... I know, right!?
I like dating chicks with kids, because fruity snacks
Happy National hear fireworks all day and night set off by Drunk People you wouldn`t trust with a Glo-Stick Day.
When blondes have more fun do they know it?
When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights.
Welcome to Plastic Surgery Addicts Anonymous. I see a lot of new faces in the room this week and I`m very disappointed with all of you.
If you are offended by the words "In God We Trust" on your money, then send it to me. I don`t mind it at all.
Now reached the age where getting lucky is what happens when I can remember where I set my glasses down at
If it lasts 4 hours I`m not only callin a Dr, I`m callin everybody!!
Dear Autocorrect, She`s an amazing woman not an amazon woman. Thanks. And now I`m never getting laid.
She says I keep pushing her buttons. If that were true, I would have found `mute` by now.
I`m having an out of money experience.
I hate fake people...especially the ones at the mall advertising clothes in front of the stores