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Girls are like guitars: easy to strum, hard to tune
Happy Saturday… the day you can put as much booze into your coffee as you’d like to put in on Monday.
I never thought I’d be the type of person who would get up early in the morning to exercise. I was right.
You know when you`re exercising and feel like you could keep going and going? That`s happening to me, only with beer.
My next pet is going to be named "Peeve."
If money cant buy happiness,explain beer!
When everything else fails... you always have delusion.
It took me quite some time to be this good a procrastinator
Facebook, Pinterest and Instagram have taught us that for every giant technological leap ahead, we will find a way to use it for dumb sh!t.
Nothing stops a yawn faster than a dog trying to lick inside your mouth.
I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it`s health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!
A cross-eyed teacher has no control over her pupils
Coffee? I`ll have a cream soda ... One cup of coffee and I`m up all afternoon.
Women say childbirth is the most painful thing... obviously they have never stepped on a Lego.
I saw a guy walking 4 dogs this morning and thought, Wow!.. That guy must be really blind.