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Could you please put your screaming baby on vibrate.
I’m gonna make this girl mine….. Right click, Save As….
It`s been a boring day today. Not exactly Nascar boring, but awfully close.
I only change the kitty litter like once every two weeks but in my defense I don`t have a cat
Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. I’m really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.
They should have cell phone chargers in waiting rooms instead of magazines.
When I`m sad, I sing...Then I realise my voice is worse than my problems.
I gave my boyfriend a glue stick instead of a Chapstick last weekend, and he`s still not talking to me!
Behind every great women is a man checking out her a$$
The early bird gets the worm. But the rest of the birds can get McGriddles until 10:30.
It`s been discovered that 1% of the population is allergic to Gluten. The other 99% are sick and tired of hearing about it......
The doctor said I should be drinking more whiskey. Also, I’m calling myself “the doctor” now.
People would probably piss me off a lot less if I was allowed to drive a tank.
If ANY of my posts have made even one person’s day better, then there’s something seriously wrong with that person
I’m not positive that having the TV volume on an odd number will destroy the world, but lets not risk it.