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Roses are red, violets are blue. I have 5 fingers, the middle one is for you.
I don`t have friends, I have acquaintances and parasites.
My neighbors listen to some excellent music. Whether they like it or not.
Your personality needs alcohol.
I f*cking hate you. Hope that clears things up.
You haven`t truly made it on YouTube until someone recognizes you in the unemployment line and asks for your autograph.
I am not as think as you drunk I am
Iām not getting old. Iām becoming a classic.
My bank lets me send a text message and it will text back with my balance. Its a cool feature but I didn`t think the LOL was necessary.
When I was young I was scared of the dark. Now when I see my electricity bill I am scared of the lights.
My roommate complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.
Hell hath no fury like a girl tagged in an unapproved pic on Facebook.
If whores, witches, ghosts and hobo`s show up on my doorstep, I can only assume it`s Halloween because our family reunion was in July....
Procrastination............I`ll make a joke about it later.