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Your baby looks the same as it did yesterday. Me, commenting on a Facebook picture.
It may look like Iām having really deep thoughts but 99% of the time Iām just thinking about what food Iām going to eat later.
The bible says you can`t buy your way into heaven but there isn`t a church in the country that won`t encourage you to try.
Money can`t buy happiness, but I`d rather cry in a Ferrari.
superbowl: the only time I actually look forward to watching commericals.
Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
Always believe a woman when she says, "you don`t really wanna know"
With so many things coming back in style, I can`t wait until morals and intelligence become a trend again.
I always like seeing those "Baby on Board" stickers because it`s nice to see agreeable babies out there.
Typical: you have nothing to wear for a party and suddenly the rabbits, the birds and the mice begin to sew you a dress
Sometimes all you need is a hug or someone to tell you everything will be ok, or some rough sex or whatever....
Yesterday my Supervisor asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don`t think you`re supposed call people that any more."
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything.
It`s not stalking if you love them!
Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons and electrons. They forgot to mention Morons!