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I try to avoid things that make me look fat, like scales, mirrors and photographs!
"This is bullsh!t" - bull farmer giving barn tours
I`m about as lost as lesbian on ChristianMingle.com
I let a girl go through my phone recently so a colonoscopy really doesn’t scare me anymore.
is in that awkward phase of the day between never drinking again and noon.
Isn`t it strange that bankruptcy attorneys don`t let you make payments....
Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was.
I hate those new parents who do the `baby talking`, yes I do, yes I do...
Big shout-out to slugs! Those little guys are out there everyday, doing all the same stuff as snails but without helmets.
I’ve been searching for my stolen bed. And I won’t rest until I find it.
Someone offered me grapes, but I declined. I`m not used to consuming wine in pill form.
We should start seeing Valentine`s Day crap in the stores any minute now.
I`d care more about your feelings if they came with a toy and chicken nuggets.
Two can play that game...` -people who dont understand that`s how games usually work
gua suka sama kamu