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Political debates are great if you want to watch idiots talk to us like idiots to prove that the idiot next to them is a bigger idiot.
When girls have a great night out, they talk about it for months. When guys have a great night out, that night will never be spoken of.
I talked to my mom, and she said she probably hadn`t had sex with any of you guys. Damn dirty liars.
life is like a bed of roses just got to whatch out for the pricks
I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn`t affect the price of Vodka!
I said "Candyman" 5 times into the bathroom mirror and sure enough some woman came out of the stall and screamed at me for being in there.
Comcast is doing home security now so if your house is being robbed they will get the police there on Tuesday between the hours of 8 & 12.
I don’t need a reason to do stupid things, just a venue.
Pretty much always 3-5 seconds away from just laying down wherever I am.
My wife`s credit cards were stolen last week. I haven`t reported it yet though...because so far, they are spending less than she was.
My mom says I`m special.
ok ladies quick question?,say a guy wanted to wear a thong does he tuck shirt in or out? Asking for a friend.
Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is completely acceptable
Early reports indicate I`m gonna be drunk all weekend.
If a girl picks an iron in monopoly you know she`s a keeper