Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
Gentlemen may not be extinct, but they are definitely endangered
2 can keep a secret if one of them is dead...
Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to prevent me from savagely beating my coworkers with a keyboard.
Do you ever wish you had a second chance to meet someone again for the first time?
I love how music can take you to another place. For example One Direction is playing in this cafe so now I`m going to a different cafe.
I have two moods: sleep is for the weak and sleeping for a week.
I love updating my Facebook status while crossing the stre
Don’t believe everything you think.
I`ve got a Tootsie Pop and seven hours until the aviary notices their Spotted Owl is missing. Let`s do this!
I`m probably not going to get accepted into the optimist club.
Buying someone flowers is kind of a weird idea. Like: Hey, these are for you, now watch them slowly die, because I love you.
Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.
Let this be known as my Living Will. I do not wish to be cremated. If the Zombie Apocalypse happens I would like to be a part of it.
The real plot hole in Cinderella was that if everything disappeared at midnight why did the shoe stay?