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So if one was to type ‘idiot’ into Google, would your picture come up?
You know what’s funnier than watching someone trip and fall? Absolutely nothing!
You look over-medicated. What`s your doctor`s name?
Behind every great woman there is a man who loves doggystyle.
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
I can’t hang out tonight because I’m done with people for the day.
if the shoe fits wear it , if it too tight take it off
I can already tell it`s going to be another one of those mornings where I`m not rich and famous.
It`s going to be so disappointing if we ever ask aliens about crop circles and they`re just like, "We really hate corn."
The bouncer at the club calls me Kevin McAllister because I`m always going home alone
I`m not saying you`re an idiot. I`m just saying that....Umm how do I word this?? I guess I am saying your`e an idiot.
Beach Rule #17: Never ask anyone under the age of 35 if they`ve seen your shuttlecock
Firemen, Astronauts, and Doctors are the only people who actually followed through on what they wanted to be when they grew up.
I think I’m going to take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it…
I wonder if I´ll ever be mature enough to use a stud finder without first pointing it at myself and saying "THERES ONE." -same guy, you`re british.