Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
The other day someone told me I could make ice cubes out of leftover wine. I was confused... What is leftover wine?
People always get so excited about the next generation iPhone but no one has caught up with the awesome technology that`s called a Turn Signal.
I don`t know if I should tip the bathroom attendant, or charge for letting him watch...
Just spent the last 30 minutes cutting a Batman mask off the back of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios & my kid thinks he`s gonna get to wear it.
Watch out! It’s quite possible some of my best mistakes haven’t been made yet.
I want it all and I want it delivered.
The easiest way to escape a conversation is to interrupt the other person and say "this conversation is going great" every few seconds
I don’t make mistakes too often, but when I do it’s your fault.
Millions of innocent coconuts are murdered each year so you can drink their nutritious blood you insensitive health freak
No one thinks the screenshot of your text messages are as funny as you do. No one.
Chip clips are for quitters.
People like you are the reason people like me take pills.
Sorry I wore tear-away pants to your wedding. In my defense I really thought I had on underwear.
My exercise routine needs to include a little more than opening difficult pistachios.