Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
not to brag but I finished this 14 day diet in 3 hours and 38 minutes.
when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
People say "Happy Thanksgiving" which is nice, but then they ruin it by saying "Don`t eat too much". Do they want me to have a Happy Thanksgiving or not?
My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.
Is "drunk" an emotion? Because if it is, I am feeling SUPER emotional right now...
No matter how little I do in a day. I always feel like I could have done less.
Just saw Abe Lincoln Vampire Hunter... So that`s how it happened! I knew what I learned in history class was a bunch of crap!
I think I need to lose some weight. I tried to sit up earlier and ended up rocking myself to sleep
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
Gee I wish I could push the envelope... But it`s stationary.
Sometimes you just have to logout...
They`ve been farting with my facebook again. It`s like the old days when the the girl you woke up with wasn`t the one you went to bed with.
You know it`s been a good night when you wake up and see bite marks on the walls...
So apparently airport security doesn`t like it when you call shotgun before boarding a plane.