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Sometimes I think if it weren`t for the gutter my mind would be homeless...
I have one question about Insanity, "Are we there yet"?
The other day my son asked me who picks up the seeing eye dog`s poop.
when i was little my dad told me that the icecream man only played music when he ran out of icecream well played dad well played
I don`t like country music, but I don`t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means `put down`.
People who don’t like pizza are people you don’t need in your life.
I don`t lift so maybe I`m wrong about this, but I feel like Popeye might be focusing on his forearms too much.
My bucket list: 4 drumsticks, 2 thighs, 2 mashed potatoes with gravy, and 2 biscuits. Extra crispy.
The brain is the most outstanding organ, it works for 24 hours 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
why would anyone want a baby? It`s just another thing you have to clean
My daughter said, "You`re the best mommy ever!" I`m really proud that she`s learning sarcasm at such a young age.
I only support ghost hunting if you need the ghost for food.
I’m not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
OK look, if I meet you for a date and you don`t look anything like your pic, then you`re buying drinks for me until you do.
sleep is for people without netflix