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The only government agency that listens to you is the NSA.
I can´t wait until Weight Watchers comes out with a beer.
I just want to read, have a snack, then take a nap. Basically, I just want to be in kindergarten again.
There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
Pouring a bucket of white marbles into the hippo pen will result in a lifetime ban from the zoo no matter how hungry they look.
Make fun of George Bush all you want, but he would have found a way to bomb North Korea before they shut down Hollywood.
There are so many scams on the Internet now. Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them.
Being with you is like listening to golf on the radio.
All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
For my next trick, I’ll turn this 12 pack of beer into drunk dialing/texting.
I am Looking for a Bank which can offer me these Two Services..... .Give me a Loan & then Leave me aLone. :)
Robots can do anything we set their mind to
What did the crop say to the farmer? Stop picking on me
If you boil a clown, do you get laughing stock?
I took two years of Spanish in high school, so ordering off the Taco Bell menu is super easy for me.