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Scott Baio is not a part of the Presidential transition team. Iām really disappointed that Charles is not in Charge of anything.
Considering I`m broke, I wonder if she`ll let me be her sugar-free daddy.
I`m all over that like a fat kid on a Smarty
My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he`s just a lamp so what does he really know anyway
I don`t hit the "Like" button on my own statuses because I am self-centered, it`s just that I amaze myself sometimes and I want to show my appreciation!!!!!!
Ever had one of those days that you feel like you should have skipped the morning coffee and went straight for the booze?
Does "Can I take your order?" sometimes mean "Let`s start a new life together" or am I reading too much into this?
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
Don`t get excited girls. That bulge in my pants is just emergency Oreos.
People who peel the entire banana before eating it must be the same ones who take off all their clothes to go to the bathroom.
I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to F off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn`t starving!!
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
You`re more inbred than sandwhich filler.
Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?
Procrastination............I`ll make a joke about it later.