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It is days like today that I am glad that we all don`t live in a Yellow Submarine. Well at least not in the same one.
Any question is a hard hitting question when it`s written on a brick and thrown full force at your face.
I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness, so I don’t intimidate you.
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
If your house doesn`t have house numbers on it, you need to address that situation.
Gonna start a new job tomorow at a archaelogical site, I know I`m gonna dig it.
So apparently RSVP`ing back to a wedding invite `maybe next time` isn`t the correct response
I`m leaving my body to science fiction
If turning alcohol into bad decisions ever becomes an Olympic event, I`m bringin` home the Gold! USA! USA!
Inspiration: nobody else knows what the hell they’re doing either.
I think my other three stove burners are becoming jealous of front-right.
When I ask a girl I like why she and her ex broke up and she says "we just didn`t work out" I already know I have no chance since I hate working out
Don`t sell yourself short, in fact, don`t sell yourself at all. I`m pretty sure it`s illegal
Things that don`t kill bees: 1. Furniture polish 2. Febreeze 3. Butter 4. Screaming
I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. I’m feeling pretty awesome!!