Daily Silly Status

I don`t play sports, the only sport I play is shopping. But there`s a lot of walking involved in that. Running sometimes if there`s a sale.

To all my Facebook friends. Have a happy St. Patrick`s day, and all the festivities this weekend. Stay safe, enjoy life, and if you by chance happen to find a bartender who is bad at math...give me a call :)

Things I use duct tape for, by percentage: Pranks: 35% Car repair: 35% Wrapping presents: 20% Medical emergencies: 10% Ducts: 0%

I don’t write children’s books because the last page would always say: "Now shut up and go to sleep."

"are you as bored as I am?" if you read that backwards, it still makes sense.

Acting like a mature adult is super easy if you hate having fun.

I hope my last words aren’t “What does this thing do?”

My favorite thing about working out is the part where I decide not to.

I did not steal your drink. You abandoned it and I rescued it.

Donuts: An excuse to eat cake for breakfast.

Being stuck in the`` friend zone`` is like an employer refusing you for a job and calling you to complain about the person he hired.

The only hunger games i care about involve plastic hippos.

I think my TV remote has developed some sort of Romulan cloaking technology.

If life gives you melons, you may be dyslexic.

I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.