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"You only live once. LOL JK!" ~ the cat
My insurance company said if my tent is stolen while I`m camping, I won`t be covered.
I give 2 star movies 5 stars on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
My train of thought is loco, no motive.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning.
A drunk man walks into a bar...but enough about me...
A spoon full of sugar helps the medicine go down, unless that medicine is insulin.
If I am home alone, there`s a 99% chance I`m naked.
I hate it when you`re buying stuff off the Internet and the bank calls to check to see if your card has been stolen. Sure, it seems nice, but then you have to explain to lady on the phone that no, it was not stolen, you really are the one who bought a subscription to bustyblondes.com
I dreamed about you last night, and so you know; Shame on you!!
I have come to the conclusion that dryer lint is the cremated remains of all my missing socks.
Just saw the first duckface of Spring.
Getting older is pretty much just paying bills and finally understanding why killers in horror flicks target teenagers.
My life is based on a true story
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!