Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
When I was younger, it was wine, women & song. Now I am older, it`s beer, the old lady & TV!
Don`t tell me I have to say "Happy Holidays" so nobody gets offended. I will "Merry Christmas" the sh!t out of you.
There is really no way of knowing how many chameleons are in the room right now.
When your life flashes before your eyes does that include the black outs? That`d be cool. Like your life but with never before seen footage.
I just ran butt a$$ naked through Walmart yelling "Stop that shoplifter! she got my clothes!"
We had a power outage last week and my PC, TV and games console shut down immediately, so I had to talk to my family for a few hours. They seem like nice people.
I got BOMBED last night and decided to do my own taxes and guess what! I`m getting 4 million dollars back this year!
Did you know that doughnuts make your clothes shrink?
Always look both ways before crossing a woman.
If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.
I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.
Halloween really is the perfect time to get rid of all those TacoBell hot sauce packets.
I’m not single and I’m not committed… I’m simply on reserve for the one who deserves…
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.
It must suck to be an air conditioner repairman. You spend your day working in buildings that have no air conditioning. When it`s fixed and finally cool, you leave.