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Sometimes all you need is $100,000
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald’s stops serving breakfast.
How do you play religious roulette? You stand around in a circle with your friends and blaspheme, and see who gets struck by lightning first.
Wow!!! Thank you guy on Facebook I went to high school with and haven`t spoken to in 14 years, you really changed my mind about this upcoming election....
Non alcoholic beer is like a porn movie on the radio
The only Plato I care about is a big Plato spaghetti
I love you in a bipolar way because I hate you.
"I`d hit that!" -Helpful blackjack dealer
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
My wife asked about my wildest sex fantasy, but she got pissed when I told her. I probably shouldn’t have started w/ “After your funeral...”
I just heard "Eye of the Tiger" and now I`m motivated to conquer the world. Or at least get out of my pajamas.
I don`t think the guy below me understands how this works.
Do short people start their childhood stories with "when I was little", too?
I`m so out of shape, Internet Explorer could probably run faster than me.
A dating site based on Netflix viewing compatibility.