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I love finding money in my clothes. It`s like a gift to me... from me. :)
I drink to make other people interesting
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I take a large amount of pride in always being prepared for a nap.
Sorry I got drunk and said and did everything I wanted to say and do.
I`ll never understand why single women waste so much time on dating websites when there are so many eligible bachelors right here in this adult bookstore.
Starbucks announced guns are no longer allowed in their stores. Seems crazy banks didn`t think of this.
Apparently there is no age limit on ignorance.
that awkward moment when a bug or fly lands on your computer screen in your first reaction is to scare it away with the cursor.
Have you tried complaining about it for hours?
There`s a warning light on my dashboard of a vague exclamation point. It`s like when my girlfriend was mad at me and she wouldn`t say why.
REPOSTED~WARNING~PLEASE READ! If someone comes to your door and asks you to remove your clothes,and dance with your arms in the air...~DO NOT DO THIS....~It is a SCAM~...They just want to see you naked....I wish I had known this yesterday....I feel so stupid now
You can tell how old someone is by what part of the chex mix is their favorite.
If McDonald´s sold hot dogs, could u, with a straight face, order a McWeiner & tell them 2 super size it?
I just realized we cook bacon and bake cookies, get it together English.