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I wonder if angry people know about naps?
word of the day: nincomtard
Vodka and denial are cheaper than therapy.
Omg!! got 6 numbers on the Lotto.. and the stupid machine didn´t pick any of them
When people ask me if I`m working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they`re hurting hard or hardly hurting.
Every Scooby-Doo episode would literally be two minutes long if the gang went to the mask store first and asked a few questions.
By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I`ve likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.
My favorite breed of dog? Good question, thanks for asking. Either a corndog or a hotdog.
Day six of my push-up challenge. So far, I`ve eaten 107 push-up pops.
Don`t be ashamed of who you are. That`s your parents job.
I checked my horoscope today and all I can say is ...WOW!! I`m a Taurus and I looked it up and sure enough,it says I was born between 4/21-5/21!! Well played horoscope, well played.
Most people who think I`m a nice person have no idea that I`d trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza.
I googled "cigarette lighter" and got 150000 matches.
You`re such a slut, the only reason why you wear panties is to keep your ankles warm.