Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
What this country needs is more unemployed politicians...
I`m the kind of crazy you weren`t warned about because no one knew this level existed.
I need a Shazam app for people I`m supposed to recognize but can`t remember
You know you`re getting old when one huge fart throws out your back.
Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
Haiku`s confuse me / Too often they make no sense / Hand me the pliers
Michael Schumacher`s former crew just visited him in the hospital. They changed the wheels on his bed and his drip in 4.4 secs.
You`ll never see me on Hoarders because I can`t afford that much sh!t.
Be the best you can be, while being the worst that you`re able to get away with.
I’ve been single so long I deserve a bachelors degree.
Thumbnail pics. Helping ugly people look hot until you click on them since 1995.
I think my TV remote has developed some sort of Romulan cloaking technology.
It’s amazing how easily “I have 10 minutes to waste before I need to leave” accidentally turns into “oh crap I’m running late.”
So apparently, all you can eat buffets do not include the waitresses...
Me: I only smoke weed because of Cancer. Mom: You don`t have Cancer! Me: So it`s working...