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And then her mood ring just...exploded
Not sure why my wife is only mad at me, our 4 year old forgot her birthday too.
Men, if a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
The best way to grill a chicken is to whack it with a rubber hose before you ask why it crossed the road..
thinks the voices in my head are out of beer.
So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.
Iām not a biologist but Iām pretty sure the difference between a moth and a butterfly is that a moth is really ugly.
I think I have an urge to get up and clean the house. Wait...no, false alarm.
What does envelope 1 of 3 on my credit card bill mean?
I look at you and think "why has no-one hit you with a shovel yet?"
I`ll go to great lengths to scavenge other devices for batteries, before I will go out to buy new ones
I`m kind of like Hugh Hefner. Only without the mansion, the exotic cars, the girls, the magazine and the money. Basically, I`m just a guy in a bathrobe.
is here. Now what are your other two wishes?
Do short people start their childhood stories with "when I was little", too?