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Marriage is a workshop where husband works and wife shops.
In some ways I’m just like a dog…. I can’t be trusted around unsupervised food.
You know those orange cones they put on the highway for you to knock down? I just beat my high score last night!
Bring me the heads of my enemies!! or some cupcakes ... whichever.
One day, people are gonna write songs about the nap I`m about to take.
Fantasy football is just Dungeons and Dragons for the people who used to beat up the people who played Dungeons and Dragons.
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
Objects in spandex are larger than they appear
If a gay guy doesn`t write a book called "Fifty Shades of Haaaaaayyy" I`ll be disappointed.
Christmas time always make me blue :-(( and then red, then green, then oh wow.. presents...
Learning how to break wooden boards in karate is important in case you ever get in a fight with a house.
What is depression? Depression is when you buy a new hula-hoop and it fits you.
Serving sarcasm with a smile since 1984.
To help reduce cost, this status was typed in china.
Yo fellas, how did that “wow” comment you left on that girls Facebook picture play out?