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After dinner I like to sit in the garden in my underwear and smoke a cigarette.....but apparently that`s not done at this hotel....
I just wanted you all to know that I`m leaving Facebook. The ride has been a blast and I`ve made a ton of friends. Your humor and wit is amazing. I`ll miss all of u, but I`ve decided I need to spend more time with my family...so see you after breakfast!!
If we agree, I`m probably being sarcastic ... Or I`m drunk
I`m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.
Honestly, my biggest fear about becoming a zombie in the apocalypse is all the walking.
"Trust your gut" is terrible advice. How can I put trust in something that tells me to eat an entire pizza when I get drunk?
If a man repeats everything a woman says, word for word,,,,,,,, is he still wrong?
The average power nap is 20 minutes. This works out well because I can fit 3 of them evenly into one hour.
Success, like a fart, only bothers people when its not their own.
These Days everything is really starting to Click!.......My knee`s, my elbows, and the rest of my joints!
My girlfriend isn`t much of a wrestler but you should see her box!!
I just replaced the can of air freshener in the office bathroom with an air horn. And now we wait....
My p@nis was in the Guiness Book of Records. Untill the librarian kicked me out
You know that greener grass you see over there? You do realize it`s because they fertilize it with bullsh!t right?
I`ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.