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Saw a girl with three lip piercings, took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain
Do whatever you want. And if it’s something you’re going to regret in the morning…sleep late.
I put a pair of boots in the bathroom stall at work so nobody else will use the stall that I like to use.
is battling with eyelids
Such a satisfying feeling when “the one that got away” turns into “dodged that bullet”
Upside to hurricanes... you might get a free boat delivered to your front yard.
You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron.
If a$$holes could fly, this place would be an airport
Why do people say "Tuna Fish sandwich?" That`s like saying "Chicken Bird sandwich."
Do feminists look under their beds for the boogie woman?
Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
Come on Facebook friends. Be honest with me. Does my butt make my pants look fat?
I am really getting tired of every time I go out people use me for my body. You know, to shade them from the sun and all.
I`m not getting married till Pizza Hut allows gift registry.
Hey Russia, you spelled Sushi wrong.