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If I go sleep at 6 in the morning, does it mean I go to sleep early or late?
Behind every successful student, there is a deactivated Facebook account.
Helpful Tip: Always remember to speak clearly when complimenting a woman`s boots...
If McDonald`s was smart they`d serve breakfast until 2pm on the weekends.
Never let your printer know you`re in a rush, those bastards smell fear
I`m feeling about as useful as a stoplight in Grand Theft Auto.
If women ruled the world, There would be no wars. just a bunch of counties not talking to each other!
I bet it’s called Almond Milk, because no one would buy Nut Juice.
Instead of presidential debates, we should just have a dance-off.
Coffee keeps me busy until it`s time to be drunk.
How can I be expected to make life choices when I still use my fingers to count?
I like confusing kids by telling them I`m older than the internet
Current relationship status: Leaving pizza and beer in the bushes, to lure in stalkers.
The future is that time when you’ll wish you’d done what you aren’t doing now.
My own personal hell sounds great, actually