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My girlfriend just threw away a bubble wrap without popping it. Just like that. I`m dating an animal :(
My interventions would be so much more effective if every single reason I drink wasn`t there
My teen thought it`d be funny to post as me on Facebook. I laughed and laughed and changed the wi-fi password. Good times!
Separating the men from the boys, one mood swing at a time.
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
Just ordered a chicken and an egg off the internet to see which comes first. I`ll keep you posted.
Let`s start by taking some notes today. I`m fabulous bitches! Write that down.
2 out of 3 isn`t bad. Unless you come home from the park with 2 out 3 kids.
The best black Friday deal ... sleep - $0.
Learn to fight like you`re the third monkey trying to get on the Ark!
I don`t think the guy below me understands how this works.
Some days are better than others. And those days always involve alcohol.
Women should run the world. That will give men more time to drink beer and watch sports.
Sometimes I wish there was a `Build-a-Girlfriend`.
When I am working, I get paid to be nice. I don`t understand why my friends and family expect me to do it for free during my time off.