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Where do I see myself in 5 years? May 2019. Next question.
How to get laid: 1)Lay on bed... Wait 1 hour until lay becomes past tense
Ladies, when a creepy guy asks for your # and hands u his phone, text REDCROSS to 90999 so he`ll donate $10 to Disaster Relief.
“Oh boy, I can’t wait to be productive today.” – said no one ever
Presidents’ Day is just another made up holiday to sell more presidents
A communist joke isn`t funny unless everyone gets it.
I am convinced that Kellogg`s works for our Government and all that Snap, Crackle, Pop is CODE.......
Somehow, hitting the "end call" button on the cell phone just doesn`t feel nearly as good as the old days when you could slam the phone down on somebody.
I don`t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.
it`s friday o clock
I was the hot single in my area the whole time.
You never know how dirty a song’s lyrics are…until you hear a child sing them.
Of course everyone deserves a 2nd chance, but I gave yours to someone else.
I only get religious when scratching off lottery tickets.
Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.