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You guys ever trip out on the fact that Indian people eat Indian food for breakfast?
I’m sick of closing out every job interview with “I was young. I needed the money.”
Sometimes I wonder if that kid in the Dreamworks logo has caught the fish yet.
After watching copious amounts of crime dramas I`ve come to the conclusion that serial killers only target women who wear matching bra and pantie sets. Feeling much safer now.
Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.
Car horns were invented 1% for safety and 99% because people get pissed off sometimes and need to let a mofo know.
I`ve never been skydiving, but I`ve zoomed in on Google Earth really, really fast.
It`s funny how you think it`s your cat leaving all those dead birds on your doorstep.
Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and they live for 150 years. Lesson learned.
It`s so cute how you can throw balls right at kids faces in the Chuck E Cheese ball pit and they think you`re just playing.
Have you tried complaining about it for hours?
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you? :D
Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco.
Wait, whaddya mean... cookie dough can be baked? Seriously?
Just hired two Private Investigators to follow each other. I`ll keep you posted......