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"IT`S A BOY" I shouted, tears rolling down my face "I DON`T BELIEVE IT. A BOY!" It was at that moment I chose never to visit Thailand again.
My safe word is letsgetmarried.
Happy 4th of July ... U can toss out the Christmas tree now
Your family tree must look like a cactus........everybody on it is a pr!ck
If I`m not back in ten minutes ... then just wait longer.
Don`t tell me what to do unless you`re naked.
I`ve probably spent a solid year of my life just staring into the refrigerator
Just watched The Grey. The wolves left half the Mexican .. to spicy??
I twisted my ankle playing vodka last night.. Next question
I don`t trust stairs. They always look like they`re up to something.
My friend told me he`s going to have a sex change. Apparently, he just wants to eat, drink, and be Mary.
I can almost always tell if a movie doesn`t use Real dinosaurs.
I don`t have a drinking problem. If anything, I`m TOO good at it.
And today I learned to never ask a woman how she dye`s her roots black.
I carry a knife, but it`s just in case of cake.