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If today drags anymore, it`s going to come out of the closet in a sexy little dress
If she can cook like her mother and drink like her father, she`s a keeper.
Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear
Worrying: a waste of imagination.
In terms of procrastination, I`ve had a very productive day.
I`ve been single so long now I don`t remember what it`s like for someone to be mad at me for something I didn`t even know it did!
I know the voices ain`t really, but man, do they ever come up with some great ideas.
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she`s going to get me something.
I try not to work that much. That way I make less mistakes.
I just called to get my credit score and I heard laughing in the background. Sounds like a cool place to work.
REPOSTED~WARNING~PLEASE READ! If someone comes to your door and asks you to remove your clothes,and dance with your arms in the air...~DO NOT DO THIS....~It is a SCAM~...They just want to see you naked....I wish I had known this yesterday....I feel so stupid now
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.
There`s not much more gratifying than seeing a chick who thinks she`s super hot trip on her high heels.
Hand sanitizer: the cut finder.
Dear single guys; open a pet shop selling cats. Let the single ladies come to you.