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My neighbors complained about all the loud sex they are hearing from my house. So now I have to buy some headphones for my computer.
Social media - keeping people away from each other since 2006.
The amount of people who confuse "to" and "too" is amazing two me.
I should`ve married myself. I`ve never said no to sex. Not once. Not one single time ever.
If looks could kill, mirrors would be the leading cause of death among ugly people
If by angry birds you mean flipping off a$$holes while driving then yes I`m at the expert level of Angry Birds
When I was little my dad had me convinced that the Ice Cream truck only played music when it was sold out. Well played Dad, well played.
Patience is what I have when there are too many witnesses.
If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of chickens, you are a chicken tender.
I want it all and I want it delivered.
I dig, she digs, he digs, they dig, we dig. its not a good poem but its really deep.
If any of you have gotten any weird texts from me recently, its because my phone is working fine and I`m just trying to make you feel uncomfortable.
I`m hoping to avoid a situation where I have to dance to save my own life.
They`re all cop cars when you`re this high.
You`re right. I don`t have a clue. I`ve never had a clue. It`s part of my charm and it seems to be working for me.