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I have something on my mind but I am not telling you, Facebook.
I think on December 21 all the power companies should shut off the power for like 10 minutes just to make people flip out.
There aren’t enough days in the weekend.
Time flies when you’re having a drunken blackout.
Sadly, I don`t think anyone has Wang Chunged once tonight... :(
Sorry I`m late, I was waiving my hands at a paper towel dispenser that turned out to not be automatic.
justin bieber
Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing it.
Whenever I get a message that begins with “Hey Stranger” I know I’m about to be asked for a favor by someone I don’t want to help.
Tip for Sunday Church: Don`t forget to keep your phones on silent, especially if your ringtone is `I like big butts and I do not lie!`
There are so many things in life I still need to lick.
Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.
Liven up any boring conversation by telling people you have a glass eye and then watch them try and figure out which one it is.
Did you know , that if you use asterisk , you can do anything you want ? * gets on a t-rex and gallops away into the sunset *
My problem has always been a Constipated Brain and my mouth has the Runs.......