Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I know I`m in trouble when the voice in my head starts using my middle name
A box 5 lb. box of chocolates: $40, Valentines Day card: $3.75, not being yelled at for 35 minutes until the chocolate is gone: priceless!
It is hard to imagine how people showed their anger before doors were invented.
You are wasting your time reading this status.
Think about what last call would look like if Walmart had a bar
Going to a bar where "everybody knows your name" sounds terrifying.
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I`m thinking about getting her a treadmill.
Pandora has taught me that a lot of the music I love is very similar to music I absolutely hate
When everything is coming your way, you`re probable in the wrong lane.
She’s thinking about having beer pong at her reception… that’s walking a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
A real friend is someone who knows how damn crazy you are... But is still willing to be seen out in public with you.
I think I’m going to take a hot shower. It’s like a normal shower, but with me in it…
We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.
Home is where the pants aren’t.
People always ask me, where do I come up with my status`, do I make them up, or do I get them from the internet.. Truth is people. I use Status Enhancing Drugs.