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Thought I saw a kangeroo today turned out to be a greyhound taking a dump !
Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbour’s wife; And beer as COLD as your own. :)
It`s not a walk of shame if you leave on a pogo stick.
Please do not read this.
Helpful Tip: When your wife ask whats on TV, don`t say dust.
My wife sat down next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, "What`s on TV?" I said, "Dust." And then the fight started...
Big shout-out to slugs! Those little guys are out there everyday, doing all the same stuff as snails but without helmets.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
If you don`t have anything nice to say, put it all on social networks
i just peed so hard that I laughed a little bit
“Hey baby, do you smell that?” “No.” “Me neither, start cooking.”
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me I was ugly, I`d be broke as hell because I`m a sexy beast!!
Happy birthday to my Pet Rock who is 453,786,321 years old today!
I sure could help a lot of needy people if I won the big Powerball draw. Mainly sales people needing a commission, but still...
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis