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It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
I lost an ibuprofen under my dresser a week ago and now I`m worried the spiders are coming after me with no headaches and renewed vigor.
IM LOST! I`ve gone to look for my self. If u see me, tell me to wait here till I get back.
This liquid diet crap is a scam. I`ve been drinking beer since last Tuesday and I`m still fat.
My face is a 4, my personality is a 6, so basically, I`m a 10.
If puppies could talk I would never even want to try and make human friends ever again.
You make me want to be a drunker person
Psychology — Even trying to spell it correctly screws with your head.
My wife hasnt stopped looking through the window since it started raining. If it gets worse, I might have to let her back in...
Instead of ‘gay friends’ can we say homiesexuals
Though we made many advancements in society, sadly, pimpin’ STILL isn’t easy.
Answering your cell when you don`t recognize the number is like picking up a hitchhiker.
I don`t know why it`s necessary to get a glass dirty, when wine tastes perfectly fine straight out of the bottle.
I`m not giving the kids a time out. I`m giving myself one. The thought of sitting in a corner & being ignored sounds just heavenly.
When finding someone to date, drinking compatibility is more important than you think.