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I really need a long road trip, top down, in the Jeep...with a cooler....loud music....and an extra cooler in case the first one isn`t enough
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I`ll let you know
I retired from being my brothers keeper when I realised that I was letting in goals that wouldn`t have scored if his post was empty
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
Scientists are dumb. A meteor didn`t kill the dinosaurs. I`ve been to the museum. It`s obvious they starved to death.
The true definition of safe sex is having a padded headboard.
I will give you unconditional love as soon as you meet my list of demands.
Sometimes I sit and wonder what the world would be like if I wasn`t awesome ... That would be scary.
I wish I loved anything as much as rappers love female dogs and gardening tools.
Currently under the influence of cold and flu medicine...my actions can not be held against me!
I almost talked my way out of a ticket today by telling a female cop she was very attractive, but things went sour when I said "and that`s not just the booze talking either".
If I can’t act weird around you, I’m sorry we can’t be friends.
The only toys I was allowed to play with in the tub were the dirty dishes.
I did a terrible job preparing for my Blue Man Group audition and boy is my face red
I play hard to get along with.