Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around
As a man, EVERY month is `Breast Awareness Month` for me.
While everyone may not speak the same language, we all know what time McDonald’s stops serving breakfast.
Before we start this relationship, I am going to need you to explain a few pics in your Facebook albums.
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
My local hairdresser just got arrested for selling drugs. Unbelievable! I`ve been her customer for 10 years and had no clue she was a hairdresser!
You never hear skinny people saying, "I`m just small boned."
If at first you don`t succeed ... run them over
I could never cheat in a relationship, That requires 2 women to find me attractive.
I miss the old days when street gangs asserted their dominance through aggressive hair combing.
If you think human beings have evolved a lot. Look at how much Egyptians worshiped cats. Then go look at Facebook for about 10 minutes.
I would like to be a Disney Princess...You know, where I have random animals showing up to help with the housework!
Been coughing all night & day, can`t seem to stop. Guess I should go see a movie.
They say I have a drinking problem. I say they have a problem with nudity.
Trying to master the art of eating a powdered donut without looking like I just left Charlie Sheen`s house.