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The naughty me makes the nice me giggle.
You lied....you don`t have a Klondike Bar do ya?
I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
Put glitter on top of all your friends ceiling fans blades........... Wait till summer... Enjoy!
SPOILER ALERT for "Finding Bigfoot" TV show - they don`t find him. Again.
Last night I went out drinking with some high school friends. About 2 hours into it they were like..."dude, shouldn`t you be hanging out with people your own age?"
I drink because people talk.
Sometimes my kid likes me, but I`m pretty sure it`s only because I`m his Oreo dealer.
My dad`s TV volume is always set at "f*ck the neighbors".
If I get an e-mail from you that says "Sent from my Blackberry" at the bottom, please understand that I`m not going to respond. I can only assume that you sent it in 2006.
Porn is a lot like yoga pants. Not everybody should be in them.
Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown man child who can`t take care of himself.
Iām holding cheerleader tryouts for my fantasy football team.
People always say, "You can`t have your cake and eat it too." I say, "Of course you can. Just make two cakes!"
Nothing tells your friends you`ve made it in life quite like owning a 4 slice toaster.