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I bet Miley Cyrus is eating Twerky right now.
Oh my gosh! It`s a Hot Wheels car! Something you never want to hear during a prostate exam.
People who go jogging, you realise we have cars now, right?
In an alternate universe cats feed humans Lean Cuisines while muttering "I don`t know how you eat that sh!t".
wants to come back as a bird after I die.... just so i can sh!t on the people who piss me off.
Learn to spell. Auto Correct isn’t always write.
What if Deja Vu meant you lost a life and you are starting back off at your last checkpoint.
F*ck It - My final thought before making decisions.
Sneezing is like using sonar to find polite people.
Libraries were a good start, but we really need to keep working on the number of places where people shouldn`t be allowed to talk
I want it all and I want it delivered.
If my life was a GPS it would constantly be recalculating
That moment when you have so many things to do...So you decide to take a nap instead!
Sidenote #2: Always have your middle finger ready on standby.
Good thing I got a college degree I think as I put away the kid toys for the 49 billionth time