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Welcome to my Facebook wall. Straight jackets are on your left, meds are on the table, and if you hurry, you can still get a seat in group therapy . . . have fun!
If it hurts when you pee, urine trouble.
I feel like a piece of corn in the digestive tract of life ~ I`m going through a lot of crap but I`m sure I`ll come out whole.
If you stop at a yellow light I`m going to assume you have something illegal in your car.
I propose a toast to the booze for making life seem tolerable.
We can only blame ourselves for all the crime and violence today, we removed all the phone booths and now Superman has nowhere to change...
Okay, I can`t take it anymore. What in the hell holds the blocks up in Mario Brothers?
If an officer asks “do you know why I pulled you over?” “Because it’s the only way to get girls to talk to you” is a bad answer, apparently
Somebody tell me how "Rub a dub dub, 3 men in a tub" became a nursery rhyme?
I carry a yoga mat, but it`s only because I get sleepy after lunch
You’d be amazed how often I’m wrong when people say guess what.
Life is so hard when you have twenty TV shows to watch.
Why has someone not invented a see-through toaster yet?
"It`s not you, it`s me." -Twins looking at some family photos.
I just finish reading "50 shades of gray" by Sherwin Williams. I don`t see what all the hype is about these paint brochures.