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Screw it, Iām starting Friday now.
I can`t wait for the day when my kids are old enough that I can drink with them and not because of them.
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
I keep having this recurring nightmare that lasts 8 hours a day, Monday through Friday.
This job fair sucks... They don`t have one F*cking ride...
I want to put a bib on a baby that says "This dumbass put my cape on backwards." lol
The dollar store needs to go ahead and open up a few gas stations.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I am going to bed. Good Night :D
I wonder who was the first person to see an egg come out of a chicken`s booty and think..."I`m gonna eat that!"
Not so great minds also think alike.
The first rule of elevator club is don`t talk to other members of elevator club.
My therapist recommended I quit growling at people...
I`d save a lot more money on car insurance if they quit spending billions on advertising.
You seem awesome. I can`t wait to find out what I hate about you.