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Hey I just met you... And this is Crazy... But this is a nice restaurant... So, Silence your baby!
Why do people say āI saw it with my own eyes.ā Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
The only problem with teaching little kids to share is that sometimes they want some of my stuff
I was about to read the story below. But it was too long.
Never , under any circumstances , take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night. O_o
I think Iām allergic to mornings.
Christmas is all about getting your entire dysfunctional family under one roof, hoping the cops don`t get called and nobody gets arrested.
Hate when my GF asks me to hold her purse at the grocery store line cause I really don`t like being that guy holding two purses.
You look like I need another drink
This guy at the gym just did four sets of selfies.
I bet if Jesus had turned water into Vodka. The Bible would`ve been a lot more interesting.
Great friends never let you do stupid things......alone
We all just sat there and watched as Pepe Le Pew tried to rape that cat. Shame on us.
Ugh... Seriously? If I get ONE more sexual advance on facebook, that will be.. like... a first.
I like to think the automatic soap dispenser is just really happy to see me.