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Let’s get naughty and save Santa the trip.
is available for rebound sex.
Just saw a guy with a Support Dyslexia bumper sticker on the front of his car.
Paint thinner? I call bullsh!t. I been painting myself with it all week and I`m still fat.
Saw a flying saucer today. It appeared right after the flying cup that my wife threw at me.
To those of you who received a book from me as a Christmas present: just to let you know that they are due back at the library tomorrow.
The best part of waking up is.....wait, I didn`t think this through entirely.
I guess “Trying to be” isn’t really the answer the doctor was looking for when he asked if I was sexually active.
I`ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn`t need my assistance, so I`m going back to bed.
The decline of civilization started when they stopped putting toys in boxes of cereal.
I don`t know why you are complaining about your appearance, your personality is even worse.
I`m a big advocate of the `You started it` method of defense in an argument.
If pigs could fly, nobody would be eating chicken wings.
I’m always disappointed when a liar’s pants don’t actually catch on fire.
If my grandmother were alive today, I`m pretty sure she`d still have her blinker on.