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Next time you think life`s not fair..think of this x large clothes cost $2 more than large so why doesn`t small cost $2 less ? Being fat ....now that`s unfair
Redneck word of the day: Twerk "Imma have one more beer then imma get back twerk!"
The brain is like the most outstanding organ. It works for 24 hours, 365 days, right from your birth until you fall in love.
I hate buying feminine products! How am I supposed to know if this is the right kind of broom or not?
How come "you`re a peach" is a complement but "you`re bananas" is an insult? Why are we allowing fruit discrimination to tear society apart?
Friend told me that on her strict new diet, she eats each meal naked in front of a mirror. I said would you like to come over for dinner?
Best Relationship Advice: Make sure you’re the crazy one.
Figure it out people. It’s a 4-way stop sign not a woman.
I glued the TV remote to my wife. I`m expecting her to go missing any second now.
Sorry I said "at least it`s healthy" when you asked me how cute your baby was.
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
A lot of people don`t know this, but you can quietly like or dislike Obama.
I`m not opposed to manscaping, but I don`t see the point of cutting the grass until somebody takes interest in the property.
My car is equipped with the best anti-theft device. I call it "No air conditioning".
Want someone to stop texting you? Sleep with them.