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People reckon I´m too patronizing (that means I treat them as if they´re stupid).
Alright, I admit it. Sometimes when I wave my hands in the air, I actually do care.
Given enough coffee, I could rule the world.
It`s impossible to look like a bad ass while eating a snow cone.
Iron man is a super hero, Iron woman is a command.
I`m not saying women are smarter than men, but it`s kinda ironic that there`s so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.
Facebook is basically just you having a conversation with yourself hoping that someone else will join in.
When I got divorced, we split the house. I got the outside....
Ladies, if he calls you crazy, don`t get upset. Crazy girls are better in bed so take it as a compliment. But stab him, just in case...
Just been wondering what "please Do Not Touch" would be in Braille
I like people... From a distance.
Don`t judge me just because I sin differently from you.
No, I don`t need a Fitbit. I can count to 45 by myself.
Be careful when you`re watching a movie with your wife. You`re gonna get blamed for whatever the guy in the movie does.
Nothing starts my day off quite like an inspirationsl status!...May your day go fast, your socks match and your underwear no ride up your a$$.