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Look at the keyboard. It has `U` and `I` together. Look underneath that. It says `JK`.
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
Fire at will! Oh, it`s you, Bob! Fire at Bob!"
10 years ago Facebook came in to our lives forever changing our ability to judge each other from our couches.
If you go for a jog and you don`t post it on Facebook, have you really jogged?
If someone tells you `I love you` but you don`t feel the same way and don`t wanna make it awkward just say `I love YouTube` really really fast :)
How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?
The pollen is so bad this year that the trailer park people are changing crystal meth back into Sudafed.
When it comes to f*cking around, I don`t f*ck around.
I`m so, so sorry I started the whole Facebook Is Going To Start Charging thing. I didn`t think it would go THIS far..... sorry
Some people are grateful for the impact you made in their life…. It’s not me, I think you’re a pr!ck.
So apparently airport security doesn`t like it when you call shotgun before boarding a plane.
If I’m ever murdered, I have no doubt that my chalk outline would include my phone in my hand.
If there`s one thing I learned from my wife, it`s don`t get married!