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If you borrow my laptop and the volume is at 16% go wash your hands immediately
I am not acting childish and you`re just a big doody-head.
I just lifted a couch to retrieve a Skittle that fell underneath it, so I get you Moms that lift cars to rescue children, I get you.
I try to live my life by the saying: “You scratch my back and I’ll let you know when to stop.”
One thing I`ve learned about women is they prefer that I don`t speak
I hate that I have to put on clothes to participate in society.
I love how in movies when someone types a really embarrassing secret they always accidentally send it to the whole school, and they also coincidentally have the phone number of everyone.
Guys are excellent cooks. With two eggs, a sausage, & a little bit of milk...they can keep a girl`s stomach full for 9 months.
i don`t know what to say on your comment so i just hit "like" so you won`t be upset that ignored you.
Can I have a free unlimited day trial of being attractive?
First you`re telling me to be myself, then you`re telling me to stop being an idiot. Make up your mind!
I`d like to thank my exs for encouraging me to learn about cars. Like how to cut the break lines, hoses, or discreetly slash a tire.
If at first you don`t succeed, you`ll get a lot of free advice from folks who didn`t succeed either.
I like to start my day by taking a shower, having some coffee and going online for 14-16 hours.
In my day we had to roll the windows up and down with our bare hands.