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The divorce rate among my socks is astonishing.
Redneck Word : debate...i was gonna go fishin today but forgot to bring debate
Don`t ever forget.. I`m always here. A l w a y s. Scrolling. Judging. Judging. Scrolling. That`s right. I see everything.
I decided I`m not doing the whole clock-back routine this year. If you need me, I`ll be in the frickin future.
"I got this." Translated: I most certainly do not have this, but prepare to be thoroughly entertained.
I have every episode of Hoarders saved on DVD.
So I was looking at my boyfriends facebook page and saw a ton of girls saying they love him. He`s obviously cheating on me. We are so over Zac Efron.
"This is the ride that killed Jimmy." - me in line, loudly, at amusement parks
I hope I die alone. I mean, you`d have to be a pretty big jerk to hope others die with you.
Life`s tough. It`s tougher if you`re stupid...
If the wicked witch of the west melts in water ... How did she bathe?
Pointing out the food you just dropped on the floor to your dog because you`re too lazy to clean it.
Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only. Come on let`s get this thing done.
Studies show it’s totally okay for me to just say “studies show” in front of whatever I want to say.
I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.