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Before you decide to spend less time on social media... make sure you go to every social media website and tell everyone.
All I see on Facebook is penis, orgasm, bang him, bang her, bullwhip, masturbate, porn, tits, and then I read everyone else`s posts..
" I don`t watch much tv" proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
There`s no b, c, d, f, g, h, j, k, l, n, o, p, q, r, s, u, v, w, x, y, or z in team either.
The condoms need to be located in the baby aisle, next to the 30 dollar diapers and 20 dollar formula cans
Strangers are like birds. If you run at them screaming and waving your arms they will run away.
A recent survey of one person reveals that 100% of me thinks I should leave work early.
I wonder how many people`s phones out there have my name saved in contacts as "DO NOT ANSWER"
IMPORTANT REMINDER: Sunday is Mother`s Day, which means Facebook is gonna be annoying as crap...
I`ve just finished doing my hair, want to come over and mess it all up?
Gone insane. Be back Tuesday.
Currently training for when they inevitably make drinking an Olympic sport.
I always learn from the mistake of others who take my advice.
I would tell you to go to he!! but all dogs go to heaven.
Our parents did the same sh!t too, they`re just liars.