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common sense is like deodrant. the people who need it thr most never use it.
DATING TIP: Any time someone is hot and you`re too scared to approach them, remind yourself that they`ve probably had diarrhea at some point
Just saw the trailer for "Noah." I hear The Book is better.
Everybody values honesty, until they have an ugly baby.
Whoever left me in charge of all this booze is going to have a lot to answer for tomorrow.
My hair looks amazing today. I hope I see everybody I hate.
So much to do and so few alibis.
If at first you don`t succeed then maybe you just suck.
Last week a 13-year-old girl became the youngest female to climb Mount Everest. She didn’t mean to. She was just texting her friend and the next thing she knew she was on top of Mount Everest.
This is not meant for you. Look away. STOP LOOKING AT IT! :)
Are you bored? Go to someone`s Facebook wall, Scroll down 4 months and like something.
Netflix would be by far the best dating site. "Here are 9 other singles in your area who have also watched Pokemon for 12 straight hrs"
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn’t hear you the first 100 times.
Tequila, because sometimes you and your toilet need to hug it out.
I always hit the "no receipt" button at the ATM because I don`t need that negativity in my life.