Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To error is human, to forgive is divine, to keep your damn mouth shut is much appreciated.
If my "friends" post just two more scripture quotes on Facebook, I will have officially read the entire bible.
In a weird twist,,, The longer I stay at home,,, The more homeless I look.
Taking shots of Tequila is just another way of saying, "I like where I wake up to always be a surprise."
It makes sense that animals pee on something to mark their territory. I mean if someone peed on something, most people would be like, "Eww, okay. That`s yours now."
I’m always impressed when I can stump auto-correct...
Life is like toilet paper....either you`re on a roll....or you`re taking sh*t from some asshole
Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I’m “the one,” but isn’t talking to a police officer.
no one is perfect thats why pencil have eraser
If I`m carrying a torch for you it`s only because I want to set you on fire.
If at first you don`t succeed...Do it the way your wife told you to. ;)
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.
When someone rings the doorbell, why do dogs always assume it’s for them?
Ugh... Seriously? If I get ONE more sexual advance on facebook, that will be.. like... a first.
So red or white wine with hamburger helper?