Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I only say “bless you” twice. If you sneeze a third time I assume you cant be blessed and you’re a demon who must be destroyed.
As a kid, i was afraid of the dark. Now as an adult, I love the dark because I am terrified of the electrical bill.
If I had a dollar for every time I got suspicious… I’d wonder who the f&*k was paying me, and why?
often rambles on and on about this and that seeming to be heading towards a point but really just blabbing about nothing.
There`s no `i` in "Shut the f*ck up!"
Apparently everyone was too high in the 70`s when Grease came out to notice that every "student" at Rydell High looked like they were 35
I`d like to change and get comfy, yet that requires effort. Ever feel this lazy?
You know you have anger-management issues when you use an entire can of fly spray at point blank range to kill the tinest of moths...
When you "pretend speak" to someone in the background while ordering takeout so that the restaurant doesn`t judge your big order for one.
How to Train Your Dragon offers no practical dragon training information. NONE. Zero stars.
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
When you wear cowboy clothes, are you ranch dressing?
I can`t help but smile when I see a woman wearing a Supertramp Concert t-shirt
Are you bored? Go to someone`s Facebook wall, Scroll down 4 months and like something.
I hate it when I mentally undressing someone and my OCD kicks in and I start folding their clothes.