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I don’t care if it’s 4 A.M. I don’t consider it “tomorrow” until I wake up.
Some people are training as complainers like it is a competitive sport
If you don’t feel just a little bit of shame after the weekend… you’re not doing it right.
Well it`s about time I get in line for that Star Wars movie
The human body has 7 trillion nerves and some people manage to get on every single f*cking one of them
My cats always look at me like I should have planned something for us to do.
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills, with a rubber band around it...... I found the rubber band.
No, I don`t have tourette syndrome..I was just telling you what I think of you.
I hope manners is the next cool trend.
The only sit up I do is the one I use to get out of bed.
if i get a friend request from you and your profile picture is a car i`ll asume your a transformer
Being an American is awesome. The end.
If you wear your old prom dress to the pharmacy, they`ll fill your antidepressants faster.
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!
I broke up with my girlfriend by e-mail. I don`t know what upset her most, the fact that I did it by email or the fact that I cc`d my new girlfriend who wanted proof.