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Just for kicks I posted "I won the LOTTERY" on Facebook. One girl liked it, then replied to the inbox message I sent her in 2010. *Blocked*
Just for fun, next time you see a snooty, rich woman at the grocery store, ask her if she works there.
If running away from my problems counts as exercise then yes, I work out a lot.
The problem with trouble is that it always starts out as fun.
Spicy food is like BDSM for your mouth
No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch
My wife complained that I never lifted a finger to help around the house. So I lifted a finger. Apparently, it was the wrong one.
Oh I thought it was wait 30 YEARS after eating before you exercise.
He said the spark between us was gone..so I tasered him..... Ill ask him again when he wakes up
If you’re having second thoughts, you’re two ahead of most people.
I was going to do some spring cleaning, but the snow has ruined it for me.
My idea of getting lucky is having someone else do the laundry.
Scared some Jehovah`s Witnesses today by going to the door completely naked. I`m not sure what scared them more, me being totally naked or the fact that I knew where they lived.
If you`re buying Smart Water for 4$ a bottle,, I`m sorry to tell you it`s not working
I`ve dieted and worked out enough to realize that the only way I`m getting smokin` hot is by getting cremated.