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Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
Bitches be trippin..... ok, maybe I pushed that one.
My need for caffeine is so bad I`m going to AA for the free coffee
“Are you working right now? Where are you working?” Facebook is worse than my parents.
Friendship is like peeing on yourself; everyone can see it but only you can feel the warmth that it brings.
I am starting to think I will never be old enough to know better.
I hate it when I put a status and you don`t like it,example this one.
Save time. See it my way.
Deep down, we`re all that one lady in 7-11 with her bathrobe on.
How did anybody express anger before the invention of the caps lock key?
The difference between a straight girl and a lesbian is about four or five drinks.
Beer is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
Dont you find it Funny that after Monday(M) and Tuesday(T), the rest of the week says WTF?
Some people are like clouds. When they go away, it’s a beautiful day.
LSD makes users lose weight ... That makes sense. It`s kinda hard to get to the fridge when there`s a dragon guarding it.