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Looks like I won`t be updating my status today...
Yankee Doodle went to town, riding on a pony; he stuck a feather in his hat, and called it macaroni… That folks, is what drugs do to you.
I’m gonna have to get new pets, I’m running out of passwords.
Right now I`m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I`ve forgotten this before.
Why do they ask you "Please press 1 for English, then put you with someone who`s accent is so thick you can`t understand them?
I have lots of great personality traits. Or as my doctor calls them, symptoms.
does anyone know if smurfs are gluten free
I`m always extra nice to the weird kid, so one day he`ll spare my life when he finally snaps.
People should seriously stop expecting normal from me...We all know it`s never gonna happen
Why aren`t they called A$$teroids instead of hemorrhoids???
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
It`s frustrating to know, I`ll never experience the exhilaration of getting to meet me.
I got a new high score today ... Sadly, it was on my bathroom scale
When I say I can cook, I mean I can melt cheese on stuff.
Conversation between Adam and Eve must have been difficult at times because they had nobody to talk about.