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Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
In honor of St. Patrick`s Day, I`m going to create a hybrid of a four leaf clover and poison ivy and give myself a rash of good luck
Its not my fault if I blame everyone for my mistakes...right?
Ladies, when it comes to stalking, I`m 100% behind you.
If you want to ruin a song forever use it for your alarm.
Not having any friends means I`m always the pretty one.
How long have I been working here? ... Ever since they threatened to fire me.
I need medical attention, but I will settle for just regular attention.
Don`t let the propeller hat fool you... I have no idea how to fly this plane.
....so then I said, "What gives YOU the right to judge ME?" And then he gets all, "Order in the court!" and starts pounding his gavel down...
Oops, just bought vodka instead of milk again
Whenever I watch the TV show Friends, I imagine I`m the seventh friend, Dirk, who just stays home while all his friends do stuff without him.
Seeing how Iron Man and Batman are only really smart and super rich, Iām really disappointed with Bill Gates.
No. My hair magically got shorter.
The only solution to a problem is to find the source and Kill it.