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I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
A good husband is like a bra. He should be supportive and help support your burdens, but mostly he`s just there to touch your boobs.
when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need expert advise.
Sorry I wasn’t ignoring you I was just watching 7 seasons and 54 episodes of this new show I found.
This girl next to me in class has a piece of tape over her laptop webcam. This can only mean she’s made some serious mistakes in her past…
If you think someone is staring at you: 1. Yawn 2. If they yawn, they were staring.
If there`s no gravity underwater, why do mermaids need those seashell bra`s?
The best thing about marriage is how wives always like to joke about making sure the life insurance premiums are paid up...
As far as Im concerned, you are not my concern.
I`m sorry. Putting up with your sh!t isn`t on my To-Do list today.
Admit it, we all have that special someone we`d visit if given a tank to drive for a day
How many times do I have to say "excuse me" before "get the f*ck out of my way" becomes acceptable?
Multitasking (verb) - Screwing up several things at once.
I´m thankful for Facebook. Before, I would just scream out my thoughts to anyone who would listen.