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Based on the sounds coming from my neighbors house, they`re either having amazing sex or putting together a dresser from Ikea.
Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
"Give me your finest meal, money is of no concern." ~ Me at McDonald`s on pay day.
can´t seem to find love. but its okay. I know exactly where the beer is.
No matter what the product, a good way to throw off an aggressive salesman is to interrupt him and ask, “Yes, but does it work on cats?”
If people don`t occasionally walk away from you shaking their heads, you`re doing something wrong.
I would be okay with a ghost in the house if it at least moved a vacuum around the floors once a week.
Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place to have sex.
"Truth or dare" should be renamed to "Interrogation or Humiliation"
The world is full of nice guys who want naughty girls who want bad boys who want nice girls who want nice guys.
OMG!!!!! I almost went to the toilet without my phone!
What is depression? Depression is when you buy a new hula-hoop and it fits you.
October is breasts cancer month. I stare because I care.
I`d like to give you a big thumb`s-up. But I`m afraid that would be the wrong finger.
You`re more inbred than sandwhich filler.